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It’s officially November, so that means wedding season is almost over! As much as I love weddings, the offseason is great to catch up on informational blog posts and sleep. That leads me to this article 3 Ways to Have a More Relaxed Wedding Day!

I’ve officially been married for a year now and my wedding planning experience wasn’t a walk in the park. You would think wedding planning would be easy for me since this is my industry, but nope. I have really bad anxiety and wedding planning just made everything worse. Over the last year, I’ve been asked by several of my brides on the verge of breaking “how I did it.”

Fernando Productions wedding

Well, it wasn’t easy, but I made it. I didn’t have one moment of freaking out on my wedding day despite the torrential downpour and freezing temperatures we encountered. I really didn’t stop freaking out for months leading up to my wedding, but on the day, I stayed calm.

Keep in mind, this is not a post about how to keep calm leading up to your wedding day. I can’t help you there. I’m always around to answer any questions you may have, but when it comes to maintaining your sanity, good luck 🙂

I could also write this whole thing about specific tips that will help you feel relaxed. When I was researching this post, I saw several “tips” like get a good night’s sleep, eat a healthy breakfast, etc. Well, I got two hours of sleep, woke up hungover, and drank coffee for breakfast. Does that count? Side note, having your bachelorette party the night before your wedding is never a good idea. Even without following the “rules” of relaxation, I still felt calm because of the 3 Ways to Have a More Relaxed Wedding Day I’ll list below. Enjoy!

Kansas City Wedding Photographer
Photo Credit: The Woo Booth

1. Hire a team you can trust

I know I said I’m not going to talk about what needs to be done leading up to the wedding day, but this step technically should be done well in advance. Hiring a team you trust will lead to a more relaxed planning experience from start to finish. Hire a wedding planner who will always be five steps ahead of you putting out fires. Hire a photographer who will tell you how long you need for photos instead of asking what you want. This sounds counter-intuitive because I know you want a say in how your day goes, but keep in mind, your photographer and planner have done this before. They know how long each part of the day takes. That’s why I create a custom timeline for all my clients and I build in “just in case” time. Just in case time is especially important when your hair and makeup person runs late, your groom forgets his jacket (yes, it has happened), a groomsman buys the wrong shirt and has to make a Walmart run…twice (true story from my wedding actually).

If you don’t need the “just in case” time, that’s great and you have more time to relax. If you do need it, you’ll feel so much more relaxed knowing you have extra time built in so you won’t be late to your own wedding. On the flip side, if something goes terribly wrong and you are late to your own wedding, it’s not worth stressing since they can’t start without you anyway.

Best wedding first dance in Kansas

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is such a cliché since everyone will tell you this, but it’s still worth noting. You really won’t even remember what “small stuff” you were stressing over on your one-year anniversary. For me, centerpieces were the bane of my existence. I hated them and they gave me so much anxiety leading up to my wedding day. I knew they were important, but I hated the concept. Looking back, I can’t remember why I hated centerpieces so much. To be honest, I can’t even remember what ours looked like. I spent so much time stressing over something that means absolutely nothing to me now.

Along the same lines, don’t sweat the weather. As a bride, I definitely didn’t take the advice I give out as a photographer. The weather is a thing and you can’t change it. It’s so common for me to get texts or emails weeks away from the wedding worried about the rain. This is the midwest. The weather is bound to change 1000 times in the next two weeks.

When rain is predicted on a wedding day, I always have two questions for the couple:

1. Are you ok getting wet?

2. What’s the cutoff for when you’re no longer okay being outside?

For me, I did not want to get married inside. I wanted an outside wedding so much that I even put on the invitation “outside rain or shine.” The universe said, “challenge accepted” and we were married in the pouring rain and it was absolutely perfect. Our wedding ceremony technically could not have gone any worse. From the awful weather to the best man forgetting the rings to us putting on our rings in the wrong order. Nothing about our ceremony was perfect, but it was perfect for us.

If I were to start worrying about all the things that went wrong or could have gone wrong, I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate how every wrong element made our day so incredible.

Beautiful Missouri Lake wedding

3. Appoint a “b**** of honor”

Leading up to my wedding day, I had everyone trying to give me their opinions. I had so much “advice” that I forgot what I even cared about. Toward the end of our planning process, I was so irritated by all the opinions and was convinced someone was going to cause additional stress on our wedding day. I approached one of my bridesmaids and asked if she would be my “designated bitch.” I wanted her to be the point person for all people who were bound to annoy me. If one bridesmaid complained or stepped out of line, it was her job to shut them down. I even told her she had full control to ask someone to leave if they could potentially cause me more stress.

Knowing she was there to field any negativity helped tremendously in maintaining a stress-free wedding day.

Schwinn produce farm wedding reception

I hope you will be able to implement these 3 Ways to Maintain a More Relaxed Wedding Day. As always, let me know how I can make your day the best ever as your photographer 🙂

If you are recently engaged, check out my complete guide to wedding planning.

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A little bit about me: 

  1. I describe my style as real and vibrant. I focus on bright colors and incredible sunsets. I will force you to break away from your reception during sunset for pictures. You won’t regret it!
  2. I’m a huge animal lover. I own three cats and volunteer whenever I can at an animal shelter. If you ask if you can bring a pet to your engagement session, you will become my new best friend.
  3. I’m a newlywed, so I understand the wedding planning struggle!

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